The Abbey Hotel - Don’t order the Guinness…

Slap bang in the centre of the Sussex market town which invented fighting, opposite the gatehouse of the Abbey from which the pub acquires its name is the Abbey Hotel.

Let’s get the brewery bit out the way, it’s Shepherd Neame. With that come some decent table lagers and reasonable regional brews. Left to their own devices the current team have stocked some really good wines. We personally believe that pubs have no excuse not to provide excellent wine in 2023.

This joint is big, the top bar section is the nicest, it’s cosy, if clumsily furnished with too many armchairs. Great views of the abbey gate and (in January) a lovely wood burning stove smouldering away. The back of the pub is set up for diners and as such is less interesting.

Lady luck was on our side and we settled down next to the fire. Mrs. HW enjoyed a solid Malbec Mr. HW took a wintry Guinness. *WTAF the Guinness is £6.15! No word of a lie…Now we understand the Brewery may be shafting you, but seriously, don’t smack us with that shitty stick - That’s Airport prices.

But the place is cosy, and the HW’s love nothing more than cosy, so we suck it up and Mr. takes a brewery lager to save defaulting on tomorrows direct debits. Now to the weird bit…The staff; having been trained at the Doc. Martin school of charm have mastered the art of finding something (anything) to do rather than serve customers. When the mental standoff between them is over and the weakest has backed down, service can be best described as robotic and begrudging. All the while the landlord, who reminds us, (and himself) of Robert Baratheon shuffles throughout his kingdom blissfully unaware that his peasants are revolting…

But it is cosy, wine is good, the food looked well prepared (we didn’t dare ask for a menu) and the location is great…go on see if you catch them on a better day. Just dont order the Guinness! £6 ****ing 15!